Apologies on being totally MIA however being a new mum brings up many more challenges than I could have ever expected….
So to go back to the day in question: well it all began on a Saturday evening when I started bleeding. This was one of the reasons to call the birth suite for assessment prior to labor – so I called and explained & off to the hospital we went with all my bags in tow.
They were having a busy night so it took 2 hours for an obstetrician to see me, so 2 midwifes put all the monitors on me and they assessed my cramps and heartbeat etc.
Once the doctor arrived she explained she would have a look at my cervix and whilst doing that she would do a stretch and sweep. She then explained I would experience cramps and labor could begin in 1 day or 5 days.
We arrived home and ate something even though I didn’t feel like it. Everyone was tired from the nights events so they went to bed but not before instructing me to call if I felt something was wrong again.
I tried to relax with heat packs etc and the cramps were definitely getting worse…. I asked dad for some paracetamol for the pain however it didn’t help at all.
What I was experiencing ladies was early labor – contractions every 10 mins then every 5 mins I ended up on the toilet as it was the only place I felt comfortable. So 6.5 hours in I couldn’t take it anymore I rang the birth suite and from what I explained they said to come in ASAP.
I woke everyone & off we went again. It was now 6.30am & the sky was so pretty from the sunrise.
I couldn’t walk so I was whisked up in a wheelchair oh so glamorous in my pjs.
4 ladies had come in prior to me so I unfortunately had a birthing suite with no bath = no water birth for me.
I arrived 8cm dilated so I couldn’t have any pain relief this wasn’t ideal as I wasn’t coping with the pain at all.
It’s now 7am and I & my sister Nicole ( my very recent birth partner as my mother has the flu ) meet my midwife Hayley I feel like I desperately need to go to the toilet and she explained clearly that’s what it feels like when you need to push – very unusual sensation.
3 hours of contractions and loud sounds coming from another place to help me with the pain -we had some relaxing music and pressure points applied for pain relief.
I am truly fascinated that the human body can be put through this much pain and still function.
I stood up to let gravity take hold but mostly was on all fours and holding the top of the bed every time I had a contraction and closed my eyes. My sister tried to help me but it was also hard for her seeing me in that much pain.
Unfortunately at 10am I was fully dilated but she didn’t want to come to the party… Her heartbeat dropped and I was completely exhausted so they asked if we could change positions to stirrups and get an obstetrician in to vacuum her out.
At this point I’m delirious and just want her out and not distressed so I threw out totally natural by having some help.
The last thing I wanted was for her to have a traumatic delivery however I really wanted her safe and sound.
Things not going to plan is quite normal so you must go with the flow and not be too attached to your birth plan.
My priority was always her safety. So the procedure begins and I get told to not make any noise whilst pushing how is this possible when I’ve been screaming for 10 hours. I bit down so hard that I didn’t realise that my chin was bleeding.
Unfortunately being in stirrups and the fact I had her head engaged for 3 months had made my pubic area very tender, so pulling my thighs in stirrups separated by pubic bone SPD ( symphis pubis dysfunction ) Ouch!!
I meditated and kept my eyes closed and focused on pushing her out it wasn’t happening. Apparently the doctors looked at each other with a worried look – my sister burst into tears and luckily the next go she said”I can see her head keep pushing”. I don’t know where I got the energy but I pushed with all my might held back my thighs and I felt her little bones and a lot of fluid.
I was so relieved I think I passed out they had to cut the cord and check all her vitals. She cried loudly and I didn’t even know they had put her on me…
Below is a photo of my father meeting the love of his life – his first grand daughter – now that’s a whole other blog as he will be her new father figure….
My sister said “It’s surreal isn’t it?” and I looked down and said “Hi my darling” and we locked eyes – The moment I could never ever describe – the love was unsurpassable something I had never felt not even for my ex husband on our wedding day.
How is this possible to love someone more than anything in the universe!! My whole life was changed forever from that moment onwards.
The pain what pain ( SPD lasted for 1-2 weeks ) I now understand why this love blocks the memory of what actually happened and why women never talk about it.
The BIGGEST THANK YOU goes to my sister who was my last minute Birthing partner – you are amazing and I hope it hasn’t put you off Childbirth – Love you so much!!!
Just wanted to give you a realistic view and can’t wait to hear your stories!
Lots of love M & M Xxx